Friday, 11 March 2016, 10:00 am
Press Release: Adam Holland
Today it brings me much honour to announce to my dear people of Auckland my greatest policies for the people of Auckland when elected Mayor in October.
The statistics on unemployment are staggering, crime is on the rise, we’re paying far too much in rates. Something just simply has to happen.
I have a policy to finally tackle these problems facing our great city; to secede from New Zealand entirely and build a wall around the new Nation of Auckland where we will be forming our own government consisting of you, the people, and myself as head of state.
The Great Wall of Auckland will be paid for by New Zealand, not Auckland, and if the people of New Zealand want to complain about it, that’s fine because we have 1.4 million people, and the vast majority of naval vessels, fighter jets, soldiers etc.
The wall around Auckland will open up tens of thousands of jobs, stop a large amount of crime, allow us to better vet immigrants entering our new beautiful country, and Chinese property investors will no longer be allowed to buy property in Auckland, it’s destroying Auckland, and we need to make Auckland great again, not sell it out to a bunch of ripoff merchants.
I can promise that not a single Aucklander will be paying a single dollar in rates, zilch, zero percent. We will still be allowed to travel freely through New Zealand, that I can assure you.
Adam Holland for Mayor 2016
‘Make Auckland Great Again’